4 steps to building my life a strong and healthy self esteem

Full Self-esteem ahead: Take steps to feel better about yourself…!

The more I study successful people, the more I realise that success, or rather success as we perceive it and have thrust upon us via the media, is an incredibly fleeting thing. To me, success that lasts a moment and then turns into devastating defeat and disaster, is pointless success. It’s a total waste of a human life. Far better no success than to have a result such as that in a life.

To me, true success is the success that lasts. It is the type of success that allows us to live well and to live long. In addition, it allows us to leave a living legacy for the generations that follow us. That, to me, is the true nature of true success.

4 steps will helped to building my life a strong and healthy self esteem

Success that leads to self-destruction is not success at all. It is simply self-destruction. Success that leads to a fat bank account and yet brings about a breakdown in relationships is not success at all. It’s a crying shame. After the glitz and the glamour has faded, one of the most important things that you can do is to learn how to live at peace with yourself and with those around you; those who love you for whom you are.(1)

Now, before we discuss this any further, let’s take a closer look at the word self-esteem. SELF-ESTEEM, in the Webster’s Dictionary, means esteem or respect for oneself; an excessively favourable opinion of oneself.

And as esteem makes up half of the above word, let’s find out the meaning of that as well. ESTEEM means to have a high regard for; to respect; to admire; to regard as having a certain value.

Most success sabotages occur because the one who has experienced a measure of success, in one area of their life, has failed to sufficiently nurture their self-esteem. It is vital that when a success event is over, that the one who succeeded learns to live a life that is full and satisfying, with or without the past success.

Don’t run out of steam. Make sure that you take great care of your own personal self-esteem, first and foremost, so that you can always find yourself travelling on track, FULL SELF-ESTEEM AHEAD.

If you live your life being ruled by what others think, or don’t think about you, you will continue to live a life that is bound by the opinions of mankind.

Although we are to listen to the sounds of our critics, it is so much more important to listen to the beat of your own heart. Walk in humility, but don’t allow yourself to become a doormat.(2)

You were created for greatness and it is vital that you treat yourself with a great deal of respect. This is the central theme that makes up for the development and maintenance of a powerful self-esteem.

building my life a strong and healthy self esteem

So here are four steps that will help you to build into your life a strong and healthy self-esteem.


Hold yourself in high regard. Think high thoughts about yourself. This has nothing to do with arrogance nor has it anything to do with flaunting pompous attitudes. Rather, it has everything to do with giving yourself credit where credit is due.

You are a unique individual who has something of incredible value to offer this world and its inhabitants. See it for what it is and believe it.

See yourself as royalty. Yes, you as a queen or a king or a prince or a princess. My daughter Sarah’s name actually means princess and I believe it and remind her of the fact constantly. This has instilled within her a wonderful high and yet balanced self-esteem. Do the same for yourself.

Visualise yourself as royalty.


Never deride yourself. Let me explain this in simple language. Don’t ever put yourself down. Watch your mouth. Show yourself the respect that you deserve by speaking only good, kind and wholesome words about yourself.

No matter what situation you find yourself in, never allow yourself to be disrespectful to yourself. It is poisonous and is an abominable practice.(3)

Negative words will destroy you if you continue on with such destructive habits. If you choose to share these negative words about yourself with others, you’ll quickly lose friends as well.

Those who love themselves are always better lovers. They breed the spirit of friendship wherever they go because they have a healthy respect for who they are and what they do.

They have learnt the art of positive speech about others and about themselves.



Admiration is a wonderful thing. As a young man I would admire certain people. Some of them were teachers. Others were sporting personalities, while as a teenager I began to idolize singers and musicians.

So whom do I admire? I don’t admire any billionares, millionares, movie stars, rock stars, politicians, royal families, sporting heroes in particular. At this point in my life I tend to admire those who practice what they preach. I admire anybody, learn to admire yourself. Whatever you do, don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are you, and it is you who you should stand first in line to receive your autograph.

Admire what you look like, what you talk like and what you do. Admire your strengths and continue to make it your usual practice of expressing that admiration through reward and recognition.

Applaud your small successes and praise your huge successes. And always take time out to pamper the inner you that influences the outer you that everybody sees.

Care for your spirit, soul and body is so important if you are to live a truly successful life.


  1. VALUE

When you value something you will always take greater care of it. However, when you don’t value something, you are less likely to tend the same amount of care on that thing of value.

That is why I encourage my children to earn their own money and to purchase the luxuries that they want for their own personal use.

My wife buys the clothes that they need, but makes them purchase any additional fashionable clothes that they want. And that even goes when a number of years ago our ten year old who, because she wanted to purchase her own pair of roller blades, was encouraged to own and operate her own business in order to raise the money to buy some of her own ‘luxury’ items.

A millionairess whom I know once said that she would always purchase regular clothing for her children. But if they ever wanted fashion designer clothes, then the children would have to make up the difference from their own savings.

Our experience has been that our children value the things that they have personally worked for, much more than the things that have been handed to them without any effort on their part.

Expend the effort of developing a healthy self-esteem in your life by showing yourself that you really value YOU.

Motivational Memo: Hop on board the success train… full self-esteem ahead!