how to be more confident in yourself
In some situations you’re feeling totally certain about yourself, while in other situations you doubt every move you make.
Some days your confidence is high, while other days it’s low.
Does it have to be like this? Does confidence have to vary or is there something better?
The question is: Is it possible to constantly be confident in life, in whatever you face? I mean, just imagine feeling empowered during uncertainty or cool and courageous in brand-new situations.
I’m here to tell that it is possible. It’s called core confidence.
And no, I’m not going to tell you to do a bunch a stuff that just isn’t you. You see, the usual advice to increase confidence include things like smile more, speak loud, stand straight, ask a lot of questions, etc. Well, if that behavior isn’t who you really are, then I’m not going to tell you to do it.
There is another way.
The Secret To Core Confidence
First, just imagine yourself doing something you totally love. Because you love it, you’re probably also good at it, am I right? In essence, you feel certain about your capability to handle the situation.
Now go back in your mind to that situation and examine how you feel. I mean, really get back there. See what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel what you felt.
Then ask yourself a few questions. In this situation,
- What is going on in my mind?
- How are you holding my body?
- How am I talking, what am I saying?
Try to find the real characteristics of YOU being confident.
The reason I wanted you to go through this little exercise is because you have to find your core confidence. This type of confidence does not depend on the situation you are in or the skills you have. This type of confidence comes from within. That’s the real secret.
How To Always Remain Confident
The way that I have been able to use this fact is through the following method.
First, as I mentioned, you have to find what thoughts are in your mind when you are confident and how you behave when you feel totally certain. Then you take this so-called core and try to apply it to other situations.
Let me give you an example from my own life. I noticed that I was always feeling very confident when doing sports, such as playing football (soccer). The reason was simple – I had the skill and I liked the situation.
At the same time, I had noticed that I wasn’t feeling very confident when meeting new people. The reason was simple here too – I didn’t really know what to say and I didn’t really enjoy the situation.
So I took my “football-confidence” (or “core-confidence”) and placed it on to my “meeting new people-situation”. That meant that I started walking the same way I did when I felt totally confident. I started talking the same way, and I started having the same energy.
I basically took my behavior of being confident and used in another situation with great success.
And after doing this process more and more times it has actually become second nature for me. It’s as if this fantastically rewarding behavior has become present in whatever I do. I constantly feel confident.
And it’s a wonderful feeling. We all have the potential to feel this way. We just have to take our own confidence and use it.
So the first step is to find your core confidence. This will make it possible for all kinds of miracles. Next, it is vital that you try to apply this core confidence to all the situations in your life.
I mean all the time. When going to the bank, when buying a coffee, when talking to your manager. All the time.
This is the only way to form the habit of being confident.
And with a habit of being confident comes the habit of success.
How To Become More Confident in 8 Powerful Ways
Here are eight tips for becoming a more confident person:
Be proud of the small things
Those with confidence believe in their goals. On your journey to achieving greater confidence, come up with a goal or several small goals. Use a journal to write down these goals and track your progress.
Celebrate every victory, no matter how small they might seem. For example, you may be a single parent who wants to obtain a specific career. The first step toward obtaining that career is finding a reliable child-care provider. Once you find one, celebrate that goal. Every accomplishment you have will build your confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Do not judge others
Judging others tends to mean that they have something you are lacking. Rather than judging someone, try to find what makes them special and find ways to encourage them. Every person has a gift that makes them unique that they can offer the world. Consider that the person you were going to judge might also lack confidence and a compliment from you may help them feel more confident.
Learn to say no
Telling people no can be healthy, especially if it’s something that you do not want to be a part of. You do not have to help your best friend move if you already have plans with your children. You do not have to feel guilty about telling someone you cannot make it to an outing or a potluck because you want to rest on your day off. Learn to say no to things you do not want to do with confidence and avoid using phrases like “I will think about it” or “I will get back to you.”
Confident people are not afraid to speak up and make their opinions known. If they have something valuable to share, they do so with confidence. They are not afraid to be wrong and see input from others as an opportunity to learn. Be confident about your opinions and don’t take being wrong about something personal. Instead, use feedback as a way to improve.
Take time to listen
Listening to others gives you a chance to learn new things, especially from those who are more experienced. It allows you to gain knowledge and learn new skills that can help improve your confidence levels. By actively listening and paying attention to others, you can have more productive and rewarding interactions.
Believe in your cause
Confident people tend to stick to their beliefs and opinions, even if they feel unsure. If you are confident, optimistic and believe in your cause, others are likely to follow suit. For example, if you believe a change is needed for you and your coworkers, speak on behalf of them and do so with confidence. People are more likely to listen to your ideas and what you have to say when you express them with conviction.
Accept that it’s OK to be wrong
People with confidence are not afraid to be wrong. Instead, they view being wrong as an opportunity to learn from their mistakes. When they are wrong about something or a mistake has been made, confident people tend to hold themselves accountable and find ways to improve for the future. Accept that everyone, even the most confident of people, can be wrong at times.
Exercise can be a great way to boost your confidence. Everyone, regardless of their health or fitness levels, can benefit from exercise. Set goals for yourself and keep a journal to track your progress. As you build your strength or achieve other fitness goals, you may improve your confidence in the process.