How To Socialize Effectively Every Time
How to get better at socializing: Being More Social on Your Own Terms
If you happen to be nervous and hesitant in social situations, then you realize how many opportunities for meeting and making friends you’ve missed out on. This article will help you stop this kind of pattern.
Just imagine how your life would be if you could talk to people whenever you wanted, and you knew how to hold interesting conversations, keep in touch, and make friends. How much more fulfilling life would be?
Don’t be trapped into thinking that having a great social life requires heavy social skills that only the most extroverted of us have been born with. It boils down to a set of strategies and mind-shifts that anyone can start using.
On Social Rejection
Before we start, let’s talk a little bit about social rejection. The most important thing to do is to avoid interpreting normal social behavior as social rejection. Once you pay more attention, and read the signs that people are sending you, you’ll realize how rare social rejection is in reality.
Anyone can fall in this trap. Even popular and important people face this every day. This is because there are always going to be people who don’t have the time to talk to you, don’t feel like making new friends, or just forget to give you a call.
Don’t be hard on yourself by interpreting all that as a hint that there is maybe something wrong with you. Your best bet is to dedicate yourself to learning how to make friends, and, with a little practice, social rejection will no longer be a problem for you.
Make It Easy For Yourself To Meet New People
You’ve probably heard the saying: “It’s about being at the right place at the right time.” As clever as this sounds, it’s not hard at all to be at the right place to meet interesting new people.
First, I suggest that you avoid thinking that public places like bars, and clubs are valid for meeting people. These, with some exceptions, are for people that you already know. That’s where you’ll find people coming in groups and sticking together.
Second, find places in your local area where small communities of people gather regularly around social events – like trade shows, talks and seminars, opening nights, and meetup events.
As a rule of thumb, go to places where people come alone or in pairs, and where it feels natural for everyone to walk up to someone and say: “Hi, my name is so and so…”
When You Meet A New Person, Start With Their Perspective
Starting with someone’s perspective, as you meet them for the first time, is something you can do just by asking questions about how they are related to the community, group, or social gathering. This helps you to see things from their perspective so you better communicate with them.
This is also very important, because as you do it you automatically focus outside of yourself. Focusing on yourself and being in your head is counter-productive when you’re meeting new people.
You can do this by asking things like “Interesting, tell me more!” or use the question “why?” When someone tells you about a certain industry they’re in, a class they’re taking, or a hobby, ask why. That will get the conversation to be a little more intimate and interesting.
You can show interest in other people, and get them to talk more, by asking questions like “Interesting! Tell me more…” You can also ask “why?” which makes the conversation more interesting and intimate. For example, if someone mentions that they’re studying mechanics, ask “why mechanics?” This gets them more engaged and invested in the conversation.
Learn How To Show A Little Vulnerability
Another make-or-break element to socializing is how open you are. If you filter your thoughts and only mention the cool, super, perfect stuff, you will probably kill your natural flow and sound like a snob.
What I suggest is that you do, like the most socially skilled people do; which is about allowing yourself to say things that pop-up in your mind, even if they’re a little weird, and don’t hesitate to mention things that you’re not completely proud of, about yourself and your life.
You don’t have to reveal your wildest secrets here. All you have to do is show a little humanity by mentioning one of your quirks. People love this show of vulnerability, and will respect you for it.
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