By archelys3@gmail.com How to Stop Being Bitter: Steps to Stop Being a Bitter and Resentful Person
Throughout the years I have observed how the root of bitterness –allowed to take root in a life – has destroyed the one who in the first place allowed that root of bitterness to take root.
The end result has been one of three things – a life filled with sickness, a life filled with emptiness and loneliness, or lastly a premature death.
The fruit of a bitter life is either death or a living death. I don’t know which is worse.
The fact is that people are going to hurt you; let you down, and fail to at times rise to your expectations, or even fulfill their promises.
But are you going to allow that to destroy you – or are you going to take the bitterness, before it takes root in your heart, and turn it into betterness?
Here are four things you can do to protect your heart.
- Look For The Good In Others
I know that it seems to be a natural human trait to look first for the bad. And it’s a fact that ‘bad’ traits tend to shout out louder than ‘good’ traits.
But develop the art of first and foremost looking for the good in others.
Make it your practice to notice the smile, the talent, the positive attributes, and choose to turn a ‘blind eye’ at times to those things in another’s life that may not rise to the ‘spirit of excellence’ level.
I have personally found that as an employer I always choose to catch my employees doing good things. I then make it a point of providing positive reinforcement to them about those good things. And the amazing miracle that occurs before my eyes is that their ‘good’ is very quickly translated into ‘great’ whilst the little annoying negatives seem to quickly be diminished into oblivion in comparison, for they have received no recognition from me.
I suppose it’s all about not majoring on the minors.
- Understand The Speck & Log Phenomenon
The good book states – that before you try to point out the speck in another’s eye, first remove the log in your own.
Not one of us is without fault.
We all have weaknesses, and if we start to point out the faults in other people’s lives we will quickly discover that we have three of our own fingers pointing straight back at us.
So deal with your log first and foremost, and watch the specks in others miraculously disappear. They will lose their significance and their prominence, and allow you to be free to love, respect, and accept those with whom you come in contact.
- Deal With Disagreements Decisively
Disagreements occur. It’s a fact of life. However, once they surface let’s ‘nip them in the bud’.
At times disagreements need to be dealt with on a one-on-one basis if it is has to do with yourself and another person.
Don’t deal with it by email or phone. Face to face is much more effective and a much more disarming method to address problems.
But if it does include a number of parties then bring all the parties together – for in most cases you will discover that it is simply a misunderstanding or a miscommunication needing clarification.
By bringing the disagreeing parties together clarity will be revealed and solutions will be found in a spirit of forgiveness and full understanding- set by your example of swift resolution.
- Forgive First & Foremost
If someone harms you – forgive him or her. But you might say, ‘But I don’t feel like forgiving them.’ This has nothing to do with feelings. This has to do with freedom.
This has to do with the uprooting of any bitterness that may have been planted in my heart.
Remember that bitterness is a killer – so play no part with it – and don’t allow the seed of bitterness to come anywhere near the sensitive soil of your heart.
Forgiveness will destroy bitterness immediately. Allow the feeling to follow. It will – in time.
So where have you identified the root of bitterness in your life, and how are you going to uproot it?
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