5 Practical Ways Intelligent People Heal Life’s Wounds
‘Like wounded oyster, he mends his shell with pearl.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson
To pass through a lifetime, while living on planet earth, unscathed would take a miracle
Now don’t get me wrong. I believe in miracles, but at the same time I’m a realist.
Just like you, I have scars to prove that at times life’s battles have inflicted me, pierced me, and at times even sought to kill me.
I have bled all over the carpet (figuratively speaking) while at other times I have suffered in silence.
Thomas Hardy’s poem WOUNDS highlights the silent suffering often experienced by those of us who have been harmed.
Allow me to share it with you here…
I CLIMBED to the crest,
And, fog-festooned,
The sun lay west
Like a crimson wound:
Like that wound of mine
Of which none knew,
For I’d given no sign
That it pierced me through.
But I don’t want to focus on wounds alone. I want to draw you forward towards the healing process – so that just like the oyster your wounds can be transformed into priceless pearl.
So here are five indispensable ways to help you to grow strong through adversity for the rest of your days.
- Forgive
In any relationship with any human – including yourself – you are going to be disappointed, let down, spoken to harshly, misunderstood and the list goes on and on.
You have two choices. You can hold on to your anger at the injustice or you can simply forgive.
Forgive others. Forgive yourself.
Once you do that it’s like a huge load has been lifted off your being. Sometimes it takes a minute to reach the point of total forgiveness, while at other times it can take years. Allow time to do its work to assist you in the process of forgiveness.
The reverse works as well. If you know that you have wounded another – go to that person and apologize. But don’t leave this one for years. Deal with at as soon as you are made aware of it. Whether they accept it or not is irrelevant. Your positive act will liberate you.
- Forget
Stop rehearsing your hurts. Bury whatever wound has been inflicted. Conduct a funeral service if you wish. Stop talking about it. Forget it, and move on.
Whatever you have faced and forgotten will build character into your being. Life is too short to hang around any minute longer crying over a festering wound.
- Forego
Revenge will solve nothing. It will simply turn your wounds into a gangrenous life threatening mess of stinking and rotting flesh.
Seek restitution if you can. If not, practice forgive-ness and pursue forget-ness.
Stop thinking that the world owes you an apology. It doesn’t owe you a thing. You owe life a debt to live a life free from the pursuit of constant restitution from those who have harmed you.
- Fortify
Protect your heart. Don’t be stupid. Many of the wounds inflicted upon us are the direct result of our own naivety.
That’s why in business I put written contracts in place with clear guidelines and exit strategies just in case everything goes pear shaped.
I am also extremely selective when it comes to those whom I open my heart to, but at the same time I am not afraid of vulnerability, because I’ve learnt to transform my wounds into pearl.
- Forte
This is a musical term that means loud.
Live life loud. Live life boisterous.
Know that wounds will come, but that they will make you stronger if you approach them in the right manner and with the right attitude.
Just like a broken bone, once mended, it is stronger at that healing point. So too is your life once healed of a wound.
Be like a child who skins their knee time and time again. A Band-Aid and a kiss solve everything, and they run off to play as if nothing ever happened.
So kiss yourself. Bandage yourself. Pray for those who have harmed you, and be actively involved in the healing process of your own life – all the way to victory.
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